{"title":"Featured Collection","description":"\u003cp\u003eHome Page 3 Product Line\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"blight-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Blight - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Blight [B-T351]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eWhat do you mean “stole” your blood? Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. \u003c\/span\u003eNO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eApplications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59598735245393,"sku":"49873363330059453890","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Hero_1f513424-91a2-4e05-860d-0e35861ee9dc.png?v=1780690605"},{"product_id":"blight-t-shirt","title":"Blight - T-shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Blight [B-T351]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eWhat do you mean “stole” your blood? Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. NO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eApplications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Heavyweight fabric (6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²))\u003cbr\u003e.: Pre-shrunk 100% ring-spun US cotton\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":59642104971345,"sku":"15553658019259410834","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":59642105004113,"sku":"54665968380058541789","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":59642105036881,"sku":"17927735808345924122","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":59642105069649,"sku":"23757130006930030439","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":59642105102417,"sku":"10925191324386837449","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":59642105135185,"sku":"16983730795981654351","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":59642105167953,"sku":"22865658218361969353","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":59642105200721,"sku":"18268605084850298135","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":59642105233489,"sku":"20876024170442245998","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":59642105266257,"sku":"28170741606287585179","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":59642105299025,"sku":"27620779428189948171","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":59642105331793,"sku":"20909540708766603611","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":59642105364561,"sku":"26362110389543139514","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":59642105397329,"sku":"24056885888297877040","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Shirt.png?v=1781215188"},{"product_id":"the-birds-work-for-the-bourgeoisie-t-shirt","title":"The Birds Work for the Bourgeoisie - T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eAdvisor Notes - The Birds: A.K.A. Government Spies \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eI know they're watching me.. turning their little heads like clockwork, every 40 seconds. listen.. LISTEN! ... those aren't 'coos', they are sending our coordinates back to HQ. DON'T LOOK! They scan your eyes for a genetic lock, that's when the surveillance really begins. You see, they start flapping to recharge their batteries and... hey.. HEY LET GO! DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME WITH THOSE RESTRAINTS! I KNOW WHAT I SAW! I KNOW WHAT I SA-\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-Advisor 4\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Heavyweight fabric (6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²))\u003cbr\u003e.: Pre-shrunk 100% ring-spun US cotton\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":59645413032017,"sku":"21793151952693023539","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":59645413064785,"sku":"32137248343992303377","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":59645413097553,"sku":"49078254115447795550","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":59645413130321,"sku":"92188159550290158417","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":59645413163089,"sku":"23714795449566688690","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":59645413195857,"sku":"33153339334300748646","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":59645413228625,"sku":"28826792968825309275","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":59645413261393,"sku":"16599142901063841908","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":59645413294161,"sku":"15052009032212967604","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":59645413326929,"sku":"25926435813844600220","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":59645413359697,"sku":"25008545575103869255","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":59645413392465,"sku":"24753317749877046895","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":59645413425233,"sku":"21296227269488824380","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":59645413458001,"sku":"22584429140137433991","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":59645413490769,"sku":"25303967419483996417","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":59645413523537,"sku":"30079613418258971520","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":59645413556305,"sku":"11410523959452911736","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":59645413589073,"sku":"18271726612476813272","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":59645413621841,"sku":"21986580866359259477","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":59645413654609,"sku":"13944443961554266226","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":59645413687377,"sku":"22117514269289387159","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Front_White.png?v=1781290768"},{"product_id":"blight-enamel-mug","title":"Blight - Enamel Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Blight [B-T351]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eWhat do you mean “stole” your blood? Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. NO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. Applications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e.: Material: cold-rolled steel plate, with enamel glazed surface\u003cbr\u003e.: One size: 12oz (0.35 l)\u003cbr\u003e.: BPA and lead free\u003cbr\u003e.: NB! Do not microwave\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"12oz \/ Black Rim","offer_id":59656800206929,"sku":"31379922231496118372","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Enamel_Mug_4efff5f2-1c77-4e76-a645-3ec708afb565.png?v=1781658710"},{"product_id":"blight-mug","title":"Blight - Ceramic 20oz Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Blight [B-T351]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eWhat do you mean “stole” your blood? Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. NO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. Applications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e.: One size: 20oz (0.6l)\u003cbr\u003e.: Material: durable white ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"20oz \/ White","offer_id":59660121014353,"sku":"18078898873970700270","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Ceramic.png?v=1781658656"},{"product_id":"jasmine-ceramic-20oz-mug","title":"Jasmine - Ceramic 20oz Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' No.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e.: One size: 20oz (0.6l)\u003cbr\u003e.: Material: durable white ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"20oz \/ White","offer_id":59669561147473,"sku":"14396233089257071548","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Cermaic.png?v=1781819477"},{"product_id":"jasmine-enamel-mug","title":"Jasmine - Enamel Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' No.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e.: One size: 12oz (0.35 l)\u003cbr\u003e.: Anti-alkali and acid proof\u003cbr\u003e.: BPA and lead free\u003cbr\u003e.: NB! Do not microwave\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"12oz \/ Black Rim","offer_id":59669576548433,"sku":"12979662540336976314","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Enamel_Mug_77c2611b-6ec4-4ac8-a27b-5852586739a0.png?v=1781819549"},{"product_id":"jasmine-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Jasmine - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' No.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59697369186385,"sku":"19891279165964663468","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Jas_Sticker.png?v=1782140410"},{"product_id":"the-birds-work-for-the-bourgeoisie-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"The Birds Work for the Bourgeoisie - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - The Birds: A.K.A. Government Spies\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eI know they're watching me.. turning their little heads like clockwork, every 40 seconds. listen.. LISTEN! ... those aren't 'coos', they are sending our coordinates back to HQ. DON'T LOOK! They scan your eyes for a genetic lock, that's when the surveillance really begins. You see, they start flapping to recharge their batteries and... hey.. HEY LET GO! DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME WITH THOSE RESTRAINTS! I KNOW WHAT I SAW! I KNOW WHAT I SA-\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-Advisor 4\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59697391894609,"sku":"18592417318400961562","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_4.png?v=1782141563"},{"product_id":"melonfrog-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"MelonFrog - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - MelonFrog [FRG-74]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAll I did was tap on the cage.. there was no warning, no signs... the bulb.. shot a seed through the bars. I heard it skip across the floor, pang off the back wall and sink into my arm. There was no pain.. just a dull 'pop'. I looked down and it was gone.. my arm was gone. I can still feel it. I can still feel it reaching for those bars.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-Advisor 6\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate from Kennel Personnel:\u003c\/em\u003e \"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 6 has been released from employment after what experts called \"A total psychological breakdown\". FRG-74 has been relocated to a secure holding site - tenant has been secured with a steel-plated enclosure and an impact glass viewport. 6-foot minimum perimeter has been instituted for personal safety reasons.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59704361648209,"sku":"26168475254422597122","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_4_a7a4b60d-edfa-46c3-8934-cccf3b8127b5.png?v=1782244009"},{"product_id":"melonfrog-t-shirt","title":"MelonFrog - T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - MelonFrog [FRG-74]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAll I did was tap on the cage.. there was no warning, no signs... the bulb.. shot a seed through the bars. I heard it skip across the floor, pang off the back wall and sink into my arm. There was no pain.. just a dull 'pop'. I looked down and it was gone.. my arm was gone. I can still feel it. I can still feel it reaching for those bars.\" \u003c\/em\u003e-Advisor 6 \u003cem\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003eUpdate from Kennel Personnel: \"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 6 has been released from employment after what experts called \"A total psychological breakdown\". 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JOB.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 3 and 4 have been released from employment following a workplace accident due to an unavoidable 'judgement error'. The families have been notified, there will be no investigation. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Upon review of security footage, tenant has broken out of it's habitat and is roaming the east wing of the kennel. Advisor 6 has been dispatched to deal with the issue.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59754345037905,"sku":"44601979619637380084","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_3d.png?v=1783372304"},{"product_id":"octowl-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Octowl - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [OW-L90] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eWe at the kennel have become so paranoid about what kind of existential threat each tenant may pose, that when we happen upon one with no malicious intent, we remain skeptical. I was cooking in the cantina while the tenant was in its temporary transport enclosure, I glanced over and locked eyes - only for a moment.. and I had the sudden urge to add garlic to my dish.. interesting..\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Tenant has displayed limited understanding of basic sign language, being observed signing 'touch' and 'more' regularly. What it wants to touch.. we are unsure. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Going against company policy - we have started letting the tenant roam our kennel freely. We have since found organized piles of trash, crude notes with semi-incoherant english mixed with runic language, and what we assume to be a 'thumbs up' from the tenant whenever an advisor crosses paths with it in the halls.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59765219262545,"sku":"11583282899152856561","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_4d.png?v=1783444370"},{"product_id":"lockheart-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Lockheart - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [LK-T63] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eWe had no idea that this tenant was in the facility until advisor 3 reported.. well.. less fingers than she started her shift with. It has the ability to mimic any lock in the compound - a huge issue for a compound filled with padlocks. We have done our best to replace locks, but they can seemingly integrate into whatever locking mechanism we put into place! Troubling.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Since we started purging locks and mimics, we have been throwing them into a vacant enclosure for safe-keeping. Well we just did a routine check and that cell is EMPTY. We have noticed that the adjoining cells have had brand new locks installed on their doors. Advisor 3 should really check that out. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We have found advisor 3's fingers in a tidy stack centered in the middle of that vacant enclosure. 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You signed the contract, you bear the risks. Advisor 5 will be missed to be sure, but each piece of her needs to be recovered from that tank so we can mail it back to next of kin. Now reach into the enclosure, pull out that prawn, and DO. YOUR. JOB.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 3 and 4 have been released from employment following a workplace accident due to an unavoidable 'judgement error'. The families have been notified, there will be no investigation. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Upon review of security footage, tenant has broken out of it's habitat and is roaming the east wing of the kennel. 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What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' 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It has the ability to mimic any lock in the compound - a huge issue for a compound filled with padlocks. We have done our best to replace locks, but they can seemingly integrate into whatever locking mechanism we put into place! Troubling.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Since we started purging locks and mimics, we have been throwing them into a vacant enclosure for safe-keeping. Well we just did a routine check and that cell is EMPTY. We have noticed that the adjoining cells have had brand new locks installed on their doors. Advisor 3 should really check that out. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We have found advisor 3's fingers in a tidy stack centered in the middle of that vacant enclosure. 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Policy is mandatory and indefinite.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59832396316753,"sku":"18470575093885647748","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_6d.png?v=1784224734"},{"product_id":"plibbit-t-shirt","title":"Plibbit - T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [OX-LT1] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eOk, ok, one more time.. OOOH that's so gross! No, no, first, we administer light pressure on the belly, like so - it triggers a defensive reaction, like s- EW LIKE THAT DID YOU SEE IT?? Gross, anyway, it ejects whatever the tenant deems 'worthy of display' and collapses. Don't get all flustered, it's an act. Wait about 30 seconds and it pops back up like nothing happened! Yes this happens every time, we've tested it a lot. NO we will not be telling 7 about this are you nuts?! 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Policy is mandatory and indefinite.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Heavyweight fabric (6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²))\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Pre-shrunk 100% ring-spun US cotton\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":59835348746321,"sku":"27127657277240661678","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":59835348779089,"sku":"89285380157255207337","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":59835348811857,"sku":"95581782877429059547","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":59835348844625,"sku":"11318122128977911443","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":59835348877393,"sku":"11534078266935083419","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":59835348910161,"sku":"90330476435470444581","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":59835348942929,"sku":"26525043807997695020","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":59835348975697,"sku":"32776770615423786126","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":59835349008465,"sku":"28466747100601321293","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":59835349041233,"sku":"21621516362230370515","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":59835349074001,"sku":"21135170139815768450","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":59835349106769,"sku":"30264507801792132365","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":59835349139537,"sku":"23082270962512712831","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":59835349172305,"sku":"25442085005329103525","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":59835349205073,"sku":"12092840856388269852","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":59835349237841,"sku":"11215492310980628169","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":59835349270609,"sku":"31724782751813028818","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":59835349303377,"sku":"17745205216031268000","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":59835349336145,"sku":"29444365726298335077","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":59835349368913,"sku":"31524568042866399209","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":59835349401681,"sku":"17221315424077136115","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":59835349434449,"sku":"29492214058140930430","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Front_Ivory_0c4a74e3-946c-4ced-bf85-f43eb2e6224c.png?v=1784298200"},{"product_id":"jasmine-art-print","title":"Jasmine - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. 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Government Spies \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eI know they're watching me.. turning their little heads like clockwork, every 40 seconds. listen.. LISTEN! ... those aren't 'coos', they are sending our coordinates back to HQ. DON'T LOOK! They scan your eyes for a genetic lock, that's when the surveillance really begins. You see, they start flapping to recharge their batteries and... hey.. HEY LET GO! DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME WITH THOSE RESTRAINTS! I KNOW WHAT I SAW! 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Applications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"7\" x 5\" (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59855682699345,"sku":"24433136487299015885","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"10″ x 8″ (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59855682732113,"sku":"32281276637222351862","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Square_Print_mocks_1057d471-bf40-4ba7-baca-6ed22b42e830.png?v=1784816636"},{"product_id":"mothman-art-print","title":"Mothman - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [MTH-M1N] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eMothman. THE Mothman? Like cryptid Mothman? Why do we have it here? How did we GET it here? Ok yeah fine, just put him in the east wing enclosures for now. Look at me when I say this next part to you: If it looks like he's not in the cell, DO NOT open it to check. Say it back to me. Ok disperse.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e -A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 4 has gone missing after a routine check of tenant enclosure. Security cameras in the East wing - Dock E - cut out during the incident. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Tenant remains pressed up against safety glass since last night... though it's appearance has changed drastically - short, stunted arms replaced by towering, muscular limbs. Soft, matted fur has given way to a swarming nest of twitching fibers covered in a red mist. Every glance compromises my vision, clouding my periphery with images of desacrated alters of viscera and bone - I can hear it speaking to me, whispering sonnets of doom that echo inside my mind.. we think it's trying to get at the lamp across the hallway.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59856247980113,"sku":"28450383503310255623","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"8″ x 10″ (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59856248012881,"sku":"33319903333922917981","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Square_Print_mocks_829db7d9-3c79-44f1-ae65-bf0fedce6b55.png?v=1784826458"},{"product_id":"sharp-mothman-art-print-1","title":"Sharp Mothman - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [MTH-M1N] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eMothman. 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What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' 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You signed the contract, you bear the risks. Advisor 5 will be missed to be sure, but each piece of her needs to be recovered from that tank so we can mail it back to next of kin. Now reach into the enclosure, pull out that prawn, and DO. YOUR. JOB.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 3 and 4 have been released from employment following a workplace accident due to an unavoidable 'judgement error'. The families have been notified, there will be no investigation. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Upon review of security footage, tenant has broken out of it's habitat and is roaming the east wing of the kennel. Advisor 6 has been dispatched to deal with the issue.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: 100% preshrunk cotton twill\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Unstructured, six-panel, low-profile\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Soft crown\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: 6 sewn eyelets\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: 4 stitched rows on the brim\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Adjustable hook-and-loop closure\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Seamed front panel without buckram\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: One size\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Dark Navy","offer_id":59868133883985,"sku":"30094484426465912607","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":59868133916753,"sku":"14240409985513157735","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Khaki","offer_id":59868133949521,"sku":"31477238694405042625","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Charcoal Grey","offer_id":59868133982289,"sku":"17384957633143764647","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Front_Khaki.png?v=1785084438"},{"product_id":"mothman-distressed-cap","title":"Mothman - Distressed Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [MTH-M1N] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eMothman. THE Mothman? Like cryptid Mothman? Why do we have it here? How did we GET it here? Ok yeah fine, just put him in the east wing enclosures for now. Look at me when I say this next part to you: If it looks like he's not in the cell, DO NOT open it to check. Say it back to me. Ok disperse.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 4 has gone missing after a routine check of tenant enclosure. Security cameras in the East wing - Dock E - cut out during the incident. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Tenant remains pressed up against safety glass since last night... though it's appearance has changed drastically - short, stunted arms replaced by towering, muscular limbs. Soft, matted fur has given way to a swarming nest of twitching fibers covered in a red mist. 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What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' 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Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. NO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time.\u0026amp;nbsp; \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. Applications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: 100% preshrunk cotton twill\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Unstructured, six-panel, low-profile\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Soft crown\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: 6 sewn eyelets\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: 4 stitched rows on the brim\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Adjustable hook-and-loop closure\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Seamed front panel without buckram\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: One size\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Dark Navy","offer_id":59878760382545,"sku":"97969940753014957160","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":59878760415313,"sku":"15435794128465029154","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Khaki","offer_id":59878760448081,"sku":"15966811260076345388","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Charcoal Grey","offer_id":59878760480849,"sku":"64302961141845303283","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Front_Khaki_1.png?v=1785163773"},{"product_id":"gary-the-friendly-goblin-shark-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Gary the Friendly Goblin Shark - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [GB1N-FSH] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eYes ok I understand that those bloody footprints lead right to Gary's cell. Ok ok fine Tenant 'GB1N-FSH'. You can't possibly thing Gary would do this?! Where's the proof? No - besides the bloody trail leading to his cell. Listen to me, Gary is one of us! He eats with us! He calls us by name! He whispers to me while I'm sleeping, he tells me how to remove other advisors from my path. You just want to hurt us.. You're trying to get rid of me.. I won't let you.. I WON'T LET YOU!\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 6 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 6 is 'heavily reccomended' for reconditioning and has such, been sent to our kennel division for corrective measures. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Gary has been allowed to roam the kennel between the hours of 9a.m. to 3p.m. because he asked super nicely. We have asked him to look out for Advisor 2 as she has been reported missing some time ago after an enclosure check in Gary's cell block.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59893481439313,"sku":"23743426557142344272","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_4d_72b83142-1749-496a-8bda-502f6b427918.png?v=1785246477"},{"product_id":"gary-the-friendly-goblin-shark-enamel-mug","title":"Gary the Friendly Goblin Shark - Enamel Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [GB1N-FSH] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eYes ok I understand that those bloody footprints lead right to Gary's cell. Ok ok fine Tenant 'GB1N-FSH'. You can't possibly thing Gary would do this?! Where's the proof? No - besides the bloody trail leading to his cell. Listen to me, Gary is one of us! He eats with us! He calls us by name! He whispers to me while I'm sleeping, he tells me how to remove other advisors from my path. You just want to hurt us.. You're trying to get rid of me.. I won't let you.. I WON'T LET YOU!\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 6 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 6 is 'heavily reccomended' for reconditioning and has such, been sent to our kennel division for corrective measures. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Gary has been allowed to roam the kennel between the hours of 9a.m. to 3p.m. because he asked super nicely. We have asked him to look out for Advisor 2 as she has been reported missing some time ago after an enclosure check in Gary's cell block.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: One size: 12oz (0.35 l)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Anti-alkali and acid proof\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: BPA and lead free\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: NB! Do not microwave\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"12oz \/ Black Rim","offer_id":59914723983441,"sku":"25902540310968030519","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Mug.png?v=1785332803"},{"product_id":"gary-the-friendly-goblin-shark-ceramic-20oz-mug","title":"Gary the Friendly Goblin Shark - Ceramic 20oz Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [GB1N-FSH] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eYes ok I understand that those bloody footprints lead right to Gary's cell. Ok ok fine Tenant 'GB1N-FSH'. You can't possibly thing Gary would do this?! Where's the proof? No - besides the bloody trail leading to his cell. Listen to me, Gary is one of us! He eats with us! He calls us by name! He whispers to me while I'm sleeping, he tells me how to remove other advisors from my path. You just want to hurt us.. You're trying to get rid of me.. I won't let you.. 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We have asked him to look out for Advisor 2 as she has been reported missing some time ago after an enclosure check in Gary's cell block.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: One size: 20oz (0.6l)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Material: durable white ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"20oz \/ White","offer_id":59914732896337,"sku":"16602898458425381186","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1785332764"},{"product_id":"gary-the-friendly-goblin-shark-t-shirt","title":"Gary the Friendly Goblin Shark - T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [GB1N-FSH] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eYes ok I understand that those bloody footprints lead right to Gary's cell. Ok ok fine Tenant 'GB1N-FSH'. You can't possibly thing Gary would do this?! Where's the proof? No - besides the bloody trail leading to his cell. Listen to me, Gary is one of us! He eats with us! He calls us by name! He whispers to me while I'm sleeping, he tells me how to remove other advisors from my path. You just want to hurt us.. You're trying to get rid of me.. I won't let you.. I WON'T LET YOU!\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 6 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 6 is 'heavily reccomended' for reconditioning and has such, been sent to our kennel division for corrective measures. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Gary has been allowed to roam the kennel between the hours of 9a.m. to 3p.m. because he asked super nicely. We have asked him to look out for Advisor 2 as she has been reported missing some time ago after an enclosure check in Gary's cell block.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Heavyweight fabric (6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²))\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Pre-shrunk 100% ring-spun US cotton\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":59939405267025,"sku":"30591792920428992603","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":59939405299793,"sku":"15182202874232875803","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":59939405332561,"sku":"13804624901770048444","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":59939405365329,"sku":"32143250443194890981","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":59939405398097,"sku":"17701074785919238123","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":59939405430865,"sku":"28972502511087260503","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":59939405463633,"sku":"22815748506177379001","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":59939405496401,"sku":"16302697945049257976","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":59939405529169,"sku":"22224047366981463373","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":59939405561937,"sku":"82005741062770254968","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":59939405594705,"sku":"30786234566142718982","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":59939405627473,"sku":"11949305135294362268","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":59939405660241,"sku":"13726113620156767574","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":59939405693009,"sku":"24965764830959515559","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":59939405725777,"sku":"97176361988089625141","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":59939405758545,"sku":"11305423439834465964","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":59939405791313,"sku":"24197083447429457643","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":59939405824081,"sku":"79834273046280899059","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":59939405856849,"sku":"32190828832903794109","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":59939405889617,"sku":"76319233334041442309","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":59939405922385,"sku":"30129685698229022852","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":59939405955153,"sku":"14146686255508511578","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Front_Ivory.png?v=1785428893"},{"product_id":"gary-the-friendly-goblin-shark-art-print","title":"Gary the Friendly Goblin Shark - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [GB1N-FSH] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eYes ok I understand that those bloody footprints lead right to Gary's cell. Ok ok fine Tenant 'GB1N-FSH'. You can't possibly thing Gary would do this?! Where's the proof? No - besides the bloody trail leading to his cell. Listen to me, Gary is one of us! He eats with us! He calls us by name! He whispers to me while I'm sleeping, he tells me how to remove other advisors from my path. You just want to hurt us.. You're trying to get rid of me.. I won't let you.. I WON'T LET YOU!\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 6 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 6 is 'heavily reccomended' for reconditioning and has such, been sent to our kennel division for corrective measures. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Gary has been allowed to roam the kennel between the hours of 9a.m. to 3p.m. because he asked super nicely. We have asked him to look out for Advisor 2 as she has been reported missing some time ago after an enclosure check in Gary's cell block.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"7\" x 5\" (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59971734634577,"sku":"12090511783470499465","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"10″ x 8″ (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59971734667345,"sku":"26114580569796455715","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/7x5.png?v=1785851702"},{"product_id":"slime-king-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Slime King - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [SLM-KNG] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eHe's goo, he doesn't get diplomatic immunity. Yes I know HE says it applies through the.. glad I wrote it down: the \"International Treaty of all Sentient Non-Newtonian Fluids\". That's not going to hold up in court.. \"sire\". A6, please put a lid on the jar, place 'his highness' ever so gently in a South wing enclosure, and let's clock out. They're not going to approve our overtime because 'sir commands a lot' won't stop arguing. A6 DO NOT BOW TO THE TENANT!\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 3 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: SLM-KNG has been placed in the South wing under minimum security measures (on a shelf, in a jar), no activity from that sector as of 0600 hours. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Ok so every single sink, toilet, and drainage pipe has been clogged to such a degree that we have had to relocate some of our more 'active' tenants out of the South wing completely. Upon passing SLM-KNG, it appeared as if he was smirking - or the closest equivalent for a pile of Jello with a party city crown.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59981222051921,"sku":"51638809513705782065","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_6d_0b569f0c-c578-4037-a63e-b1404ab07694.png?v=1786028518"},{"product_id":"slime-king-t-shirt","title":"Slime King - T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [SLM-KNG] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eHe's goo, he doesn't get diplomatic immunity. Yes I know HE says it applies through the.. glad I wrote it down: the \"International Treaty of all Sentient Non-Newtonian Fluids\". That's not going to hold up in court.. \"sire\". A6, please put a lid on the jar, place 'his highness' ever so gently in a South wing enclosure, and let's clock out. They're not going to approve our overtime because 'sir commands a lot' won't stop arguing. A6 DO NOT BOW TO THE TENANT!\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 3 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: SLM-KNG has been placed in the South wing under minimum security measures (on a shelf, in a jar), no activity from that sector as of 0600 hours. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Ok so every single sink, toilet, and drainage pipe has been clogged to such a degree that we have had to relocate some of our more 'active' tenants out of the South wing completely. 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