{"title":"Hats","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWith more arms, teeth, and liability insurance, our tenants can't wait to be signed over through extensive legal paperwork, right to you! \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e(These contracts cite that in no situation resulting in, but not limited to: bruising, lacerations, incinerations, bites, bleeds, puncture wounds, smog inhalation, psychic memory erasure, psychic memory implantation, psychically coerced signing of liability documentation, broken bones, scrapes dings or 'owies', are the responsibility of the victim.. NEW OWNER, and the kennel is in no way at fault.) Good luck!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"classic-dad-cap","title":"Jasmine - Embroidered Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' No.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e.: Closure: Self-fabric hideaway strap with antique brass buckle and grommet\u003cbr\u003e.: Sewn-in label\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Dark Grey","offer_id":59641995624529,"sku":"19784812711707245271","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Khaki","offer_id":59641995657297,"sku":"14976003903757820787","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Light Blue","offer_id":59641995690065,"sku":"17797179902455080388","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Pink","offer_id":59641995722833,"sku":"28809271942116923295","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Stone","offer_id":59641995755601,"sku":"17466788126822551368","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":59641995788369,"sku":"30856957951036302600","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Embroider_Hat.png?v=1781282935"},{"product_id":"blight-hat","title":"Blight - Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Blight [B-T351]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eWhat do you mean “stole” your blood? Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. NO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eApplications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e.: 8.5 oz., 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e.: Enzyme washed twill, brushed finish\u003cbr\u003e.: Unstructured, six-panel, mid profile\u003cbr\u003e.: Self-fabric inside sweatband\u003cbr\u003e.: Self-fabric closure with metal slider\u003cbr\u003e.: 100% US grown BCI cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Blue Jean \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59642110083153,"sku":"13322957583894463008","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sandstone \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59642110115921,"sku":"28324641497838582668","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59642110148689,"sku":"15700608833211938411","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59642110181457,"sku":"12209106522418774639","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59642110214225,"sku":"88632764726223907361","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Hat.png?v=1781215811"},{"product_id":"jasmine-embroidered-beanie","title":"Jasmine - Embroidered Beanie","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' No.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: 50% recycled polyester and 50% acrylic\u003cbr\u003e.: Double layer knit\u003cbr\u003e.: Cuffed beanie\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Acid Green","offer_id":59645416407121,"sku":"74917625437320766480","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Beige","offer_id":59645416439889,"sku":"56045095754134774636","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Light Blue","offer_id":59645416472657,"sku":"19320424236114467625","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Light Grey Melange","offer_id":59645416505425,"sku":"16063905133185044246","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Beanie.png?v=1781568426"},{"product_id":"melonfrog-hat","title":"MelonFrog - Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - MelonFrog [FRG-74]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAll I did was tap on the cage.. there was no warning, no signs... the bulb.. shot a seed through the bars. I heard it skip across the floor, pang off the back wall and sink into my arm. There was no pain.. just a dull 'pop'. I looked down and it was gone.. my arm was gone. I can still feel it. I can still feel it reaching for those bars.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 6\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate from Kennel Personnel\u003c\/em\u003e: \u003cem\u003eAdvisor 6 has been released from employment after what experts called \"A total psychological breakdown\". FRG-74 has been relocated to a secure holding site - tenant has been secured with a steel-plated enclosure and an impact glass viewport. 6-foot minimum perimeter has been instituted for personal safety reasons.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: 8.5 oz., 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e.: Enzyme washed twill, brushed finish\u003cbr\u003e.: Unstructured, six-panel, mid profile\u003cbr\u003e.: Self-fabric inside sweatband\u003cbr\u003e.: Self-fabric closure with metal slider\u003cbr\u003e.: 100% US grown BCI cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Blue Jean \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59708875112529,"sku":"22826929154050825515","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sandstone \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59708875145297,"sku":"32891571385892898351","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59708875178065,"sku":"79403164636960968888","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59708875210833,"sku":"29717718940779668723","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ Adjustable","offer_id":59708875243601,"sku":"12553039843463897634","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Front_Ivory.png?v=1782396370"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/collections\/Hat_Hero.png?v=1781282041","url":"https:\/\/thecreaturekennel.com\/collections\/hats.oembed","provider":"The Creature Kennel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}