{"title":"Prints","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWith more arms, teeth, and liability insurance, our tenants can't wait to be signed over through extensive legal paperwork, right to you! \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e(These contracts cite that in no situation resulting in, but not limited to: bruising, lacerations, incinerations, bites, bleeds, puncture wounds, smog inhalation, psychic memory erasure, psychic memory implantation, psychically coerced signing of liability documentation, broken bones, scrapes dings or 'owies', are the responsibility of the victim.. NEW OWNER, and the kennel is in no way at fault.) Good luck!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"jasmine-art-print","title":"Jasmine - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' No.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"7\" x 5\" (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59851901075537,"sku":"77889270617733415133","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"10″ x 8″ (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59851901108305,"sku":"13860276241146612354","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Square_Print_mocks2.png?v=1784750807"},{"product_id":"the-birds-work-for-the-bourgeoisie-art-print","title":"The Birds Work for the Bourgeoisie - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - The Birds: A.K.A. Government Spies \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eI know they're watching me.. turning their little heads like clockwork, every 40 seconds. listen.. LISTEN! ... those aren't 'coos', they are sending our coordinates back to HQ. DON'T LOOK! They scan your eyes for a genetic lock, that's when the surveillance really begins. You see, they start flapping to recharge their batteries and... hey.. HEY LET GO! DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME WITH THOSE RESTRAINTS! I KNOW WHAT I SAW! I KNOW WHAT I SA-\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-Advisor 4\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59855678603345,"sku":"33092467183169272792","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"8″ x 10″ (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59855678636113,"sku":"27091289618629862634","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Square_Print_mocks_87550535-a6ed-4f94-af4c-2d7308315e0e.png?v=1784815809"},{"product_id":"blight-art-print","title":"Blight - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Blight [B-T351] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eWhat do you mean “stole” your blood? Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. NO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. Applications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"7\" x 5\" (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59855682699345,"sku":"24433136487299015885","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"10″ x 8″ (Horizontal) \/ Matte","offer_id":59855682732113,"sku":"32281276637222351862","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Square_Print_mocks_1057d471-bf40-4ba7-baca-6ed22b42e830.png?v=1784816636"},{"product_id":"mothman-art-print","title":"Mothman - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [MTH-M1N] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eMothman. THE Mothman? Like cryptid Mothman? Why do we have it here? How did we GET it here? Ok yeah fine, just put him in the east wing enclosures for now. Look at me when I say this next part to you: If it looks like he's not in the cell, DO NOT open it to check. Say it back to me. Ok disperse.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e -A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 4 has gone missing after a routine check of tenant enclosure. Security cameras in the East wing - Dock E - cut out during the incident. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Tenant remains pressed up against safety glass since last night... though it's appearance has changed drastically - short, stunted arms replaced by towering, muscular limbs. Soft, matted fur has given way to a swarming nest of twitching fibers covered in a red mist. Every glance compromises my vision, clouding my periphery with images of desacrated alters of viscera and bone - I can hear it speaking to me, whispering sonnets of doom that echo inside my mind.. we think it's trying to get at the lamp across the hallway.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59856247980113,"sku":"28450383503310255623","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"8″ x 10″ (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59856248012881,"sku":"33319903333922917981","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Square_Print_mocks_829db7d9-3c79-44f1-ae65-bf0fedce6b55.png?v=1784826458"},{"product_id":"sharp-mothman-art-print-1","title":"Sharp Mothman - Art Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Tenant [MTH-M1N] \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eMothman. THE Mothman? Like cryptid Mothman? Why do we have it here? How did we GET it here? Ok yeah fine, just put him in the east wing enclosures for now. Look at me when I say this next part to you: If it looks like he's not in the cell, DO NOT open it to check. Say it back to me. Ok disperse.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e -A7 \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 4 has gone missing after a routine check of tenant enclosure. Security cameras in the East wing - Dock E - cut out during the incident. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Tenant remains pressed up against safety glass since last night... though it's appearance has changed drastically - short, stunted arms replaced by towering, muscular limbs. Soft, matted fur has given way to a swarming nest of twitching fibers covered in a red mist. Every glance compromises my vision, clouding my periphery with images of desacrated alters of viscera and bone - I can hear it speaking to me, whispering sonnets of doom that echo inside my mind.. we think it's trying to get at the lamp across the hallway.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Paper thickness: 200 gsm\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e.: Multiple sizes to choose from\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59856275472465,"sku":"24537665178405222361","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"8″ x 10″ (Vertical) \/ Matte","offer_id":59856275505233,"sku":"25021822910202008524","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/sSquare_Print_mocks.png?v=1784826280"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/collections\/Print_Hero.png?v=1784824005","url":"https:\/\/thecreaturekennel.com\/collections\/prints.oembed","provider":"The Creature Kennel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}