{"title":"Stickers","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-ccdc3211-7fff-c971-ec77-04aa14f06976\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWith more arms, teeth, and liability insurance, our tenants can't wait to be signed over through extensive legal paperwork, right to you! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e(These contracts cite that in no situation resulting in, but not limited to: bruising, lacerations, incinerations, bites, bleeds, puncture wounds, smog inhalation, psychic memory erasure, psychic memory implantation, psychically coerced signing of liability documentation, broken bones, scrapes dings or 'owies', are the responsibility of the victim.. NEW OWNER, and the kennel is in no way at fault.) Good luck!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"blight-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Blight - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Blight [B-T351]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eWhat do you mean “stole” your blood? Advisor 2, if I have to tell you to curb your hyperbole one more time, we are going to have a very different conversation.. \u003c\/span\u003eNO i don’t care that it itches! Look, we all know it’s going to get worse, at least find that tenant BEFORE you collapse this time. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Mixing vinegar and Salt in a warm solution halts agitation from tenant bite.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Advisor 2 has gone missing. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eApplications have been sent to potential replacements.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59598735245393,"sku":"49873363330059453890","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Hero_1f513424-91a2-4e05-860d-0e35861ee9dc.png?v=1780690605"},{"product_id":"jasmine-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Jasmine - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Jasmine [B1K-KT]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 2, I told you to take that cigarette away from her. What do you mean you did, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT! I'll just do it myself then, so hard to find good lab techs these da.. where did she get that one from- how did she even light it? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: It's been 4 hours and Jasmine is up 35 cigarettes.. Like she's manifesting them out of spite. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: We finally saw her light one - Turns out Jasmine.. the cat.. is a low level pyromancer, capable of producing a localized flame. Note from Advisor 3: 'She singed my fingers when I took the last one out of her mouth.. is that worker's comp?' No.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59697369186385,"sku":"19891279165964663468","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Jas_Sticker.png?v=1782140410"},{"product_id":"the-birds-work-for-the-bourgeoisie-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"The Birds Work for the Bourgeoisie - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - The Birds: A.K.A. Government Spies\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eI know they're watching me.. turning their little heads like clockwork, every 40 seconds. listen.. LISTEN! ... those aren't 'coos', they are sending our coordinates back to HQ. DON'T LOOK! They scan your eyes for a genetic lock, that's when the surveillance really begins. You see, they start flapping to recharge their batteries and... hey.. HEY LET GO! DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME WITH THOSE RESTRAINTS! I KNOW WHAT I SAW! I KNOW WHAT I SA-\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-Advisor 4\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59697391894609,"sku":"18592417318400961562","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_4.png?v=1782141563"},{"product_id":"melonfrog-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"MelonFrog - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - MelonFrog [FRG-74]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eAll I did was tap on the cage.. there was no warning, no signs... the bulb.. shot a seed through the bars. I heard it skip across the floor, pang off the back wall and sink into my arm. There was no pain.. just a dull 'pop'. I looked down and it was gone.. my arm was gone. I can still feel it. I can still feel it reaching for those bars.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-Advisor 6\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate from Kennel Personnel:\u003c\/em\u003e \"\u003cem\u003eAdvisor 6 has been released from employment after what experts called \"A total psychological breakdown\". FRG-74 has been relocated to a secure holding site - tenant has been secured with a steel-plated enclosure and an impact glass viewport. 6-foot minimum perimeter has been instituted for personal safety reasons.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e-A7\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59704361648209,"sku":"26168475254422597122","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_4_a7a4b60d-edfa-46c3-8934-cccf3b8127b5.png?v=1782244009"},{"product_id":"knife-prawn-vinyl-sticker-3-x-4","title":"Knife Prawn - Vinyl Sticker [3\" x 4\"]","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdvisor Notes - Knife Prawn [N1F-SHMP]\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"\u003cem\u003eThis is not the way we do things around here Advisor 3. You signed the contract, you bear the risks. Advisor 5 will be missed to be sure, but each piece of her needs to be recovered from that tank so we can mail it back to next of kin. Now reach into the enclosure, pull out that prawn, and DO. YOUR. JOB.\u003c\/em\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-A7\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 1: Advisor 3 and 4 have been released from employment following a workplace accident due to an unavoidable 'judgement error'. The families have been notified, there will be no investigation. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003eUpdate 2: Upon review of security footage, tenant has broken out of it's habitat and is roaming the east wing of the kennel. Advisor 6 has been dispatched to deal with the issue.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" x 4\" \/ Kiss-Cut \/ Satin","offer_id":59754345037905,"sku":"44601979619637380084","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/files\/Asset_3d.png?v=1783372304"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1046\/0735\/0865\/collections\/Hero_1f513424-91a2-4e05-860d-0e35861ee9dc.png?v=1781280932","url":"https:\/\/thecreaturekennel.com\/collections\/stickers.oembed","provider":"The Creature Kennel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}